Jai Ho

Singing in the car.
This blast from the past brings a joy from a film that we all loved.

A brief moment of frivolity inevitably reminds me that once, I was often this way.
My heart was once a soufflé… light, airy and full of bubbles.

I try to stay with that feeling.
I play the song over and over.
I sing along.
But once my heart is opened, the sadness floods out.

The lyrics morph meaning and are now a cry to my boys…
’You are the reason that I breathe’,
’You are the reason that I still believe’ … because… they are.
’Come and dance with me’ I imagine dancing with them both as I sob, and drive, tilting my head upwards as I would, to meet Luke’s gaze.
It’s joyous.
It’s agony.
It’s my life.