Launching This Blog

Day1343.

Sitting here, waiting to publish this blog.

I am waiting for my London team, my dear friend Sam, to add one last link- because I can not - for I have lost the plot completely!

Smoking and sobbing, looking at the beauty of my surroundings, listening to Freddy, Annie’s boy sing, watching Anthony, Jenn’s boy surf, the faces of the lost children of the brave and extraordinary Mothers fill my monitor.

There’s so much sadness and so much love.

Revisiting the world of my past 3 years as I transcribed my handwritten journal into this blog has been quite a journey. I didn’t change a word - because it is all still true. My resolve may sometimes change but the emotions, however opposing, remain.

Speaking with the Mothers of those on my Rest in Love page, and reading their words has been both inspirational and heart wrenching. I vow to meet them all one day.

And now I am about to release these words in to the world.

I am exhausted. I am firm in my conviction to call for change.

I am terrified to reveal my truth, but if someone else has had those thoughts, I don’t want them to think they are alone.

But above all, I am so, so sad.

Luke’s birthday approaches.