And What of 2021?

Day 1554.

It’s the early hours of new years day.

Christmas has been and gone, new rituals were performed - a visit to the beach, a swim in the ocean, a puppy running free. Lovely food, but not the foods of Christmas past. We were close and serene. We laughed and enjoyed eachother.

Mariah Carey’s AlI I want for Christmas still brought a yearning to my heart and tears to my eyes, because no matter how much serenity I feel; Luke will always be all I want for Christmas.

And what of 2021?

A new year for me is not at the arrival of January.
The date of Luke’s death is my marker of time, the before and the after.

2021 means no more to me than a new book in which to journal, which is laid on my desk expectant amidst my research books, Narcan distribution and training memos, plans for the next 5 months and a sea of post-it notes which mirror my brain.

Serenity is still upon me and I hope that it will yield a clarity of mind and the strength to make a difference in this world despite the elevation of greed and self, above love, charity, human kindness and acceptance.

There’s a lot of work to do.

So, I’ll sit here and watch the dawn break on this new year and tomorrow I will resume my task of pushing my rock up that hill.